We will all face change and obstacles and challenges in our lives.
We will all face change and obstacles and challenges in our lives. When dealing with adversity and change, I have found we need heaping amounts of grit and grace. Having both grit and grace has allowed me to thrive after change and through the hard times.
Finding My Grit:
As someone who was faced with breast cancer at the age of 30, just as my son was turning two, I had to find my grit. There were days where I didn’t want to get out of bed. I was so tired. I didn’t want to go get more chemo. I didn’t want to put any more drugs into my body. But then, I realized that I needed to grit up. I had a choice. Feel sorry for myself, or fight with everything I had to beat this damn cancer. I chose to get out of bed. To take the chemo, the surgeries, the scars so that I could be here for as long as I possibly could. I did so without complaining. Without asking, “Why me?”. Without feeling sorry for myself. And here I am 15 years later.
During the tough times, we must learn to grit up, not give up. We must find that courage and resolve to keep going NO MATTER WHAT. To never give up, especially when facing tough times. Listening to that inner voice that tells us we can do it regardless of what others may say. Knowing that quitting is not an option. So we roll up our sleeves, do the hard work, and get it done. The outer bullies and our own inner bullies telling us that we can’t do it – we must learn to let those words and doubt fall on deaf ears – and instead believe in ourselves and push forward against all odds. That’s grit. Sometimes grit comes along more easily than other times. There have been times where my grit was buried deep inside of me and I had to dig deep to find it. But in the end, I always found it, whether it was on those days where I was too tired to climb the stairs after my cancer surgery and peed my pants. Or on those days where I hid under the covers after my divorce, with my world falling apart. Or on the days where things fell apart for a client or at work. I always got up. I always got out of bed. It may not have been easy. But in the end, I had a choice. I found my grit. And you can too.
Giving Myself Grace:
The tough times also teach us that we need to give ourselves grace. To remember that we must continue to be the good. To not throw ourselves a pity party, but instead to meet our challenges head on and find the good, even in the midst of the bad. To bite our tongue at appropriate times when it would be so easy to yell. To always rise above the drama, even when sometimes we don’t want to. To not be so hard on ourselves and realize we are doing the best we can. To stop beating ourselves up. To focus on the love. Of ourselves. And others. To show compassion. To not know all the answers. To forgive, but never forget. To not be so quick to judge. To show our vulnerability. To admit when we are wrong. To fall down but then get back up, learning from our mistakes. That’s grace. And we all need to learn to give ourselves more of it, particularly during those rough patches as that’s often when we need to give ourselves and others the most grace.
With grit and grace we can not only “get through” the hard times in life, we can thrive. We can transform our lives into an even better version of ourselves, not merely surviving, but thriving. Unexpected change, challenges and adversity can bring us great gifts that move us toward deeper clarity, wisdom and self-awareness if we allow it, with a little bit of grace and a little bit of grit.
What have you learned about grit and grace in your life through tough times that you can share with us?
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Kim Becking is a keynote motivational speaker; change, communication and leadership expert; and success coach who helps individuals and organizations create momentum in their work and life to get massive results.